Churchill Associates

I was talking to Paul Stonehouse this morning about coaching and counselling, and we were reflecting on what it is that clients really gain from working with us. Obviously, for many people, it is the results they achieve: greater clarity about their goals, more freedom in handling their emotions, more authentic sense of who they are, reduced distress and turmoil … the list could go on for a long time.

People also tell us that they feel they’ve learned new skills or techniques that they can continue to use once their work with us is complete. Ever since I read George Miller’s paper on ‘Giving Psychology Away’, I have been committed to explaining what I’m doing while I’m working with a coaching or counselling client: perhaps “I’m encouraging you to consider this from a range of perspectives” or “I’m inviting you to explore which part of your personality was just speaking?”. My intention is, in line with Miller’s suggestion, to help the person become their own therapist, and it is always fulfilling when someone tells me they’re doing this.

Now, these are great results, and I value them. Evaluations of counselling, coaching, psychotherapy usually decide how effective they are by looking at results like these. However, learning new skills and strategies is only part of what goes on. Self-help books can offer the same guidance – but are usually less effective than coaching or therapy. What gives added value to coaching and counselling comes from the process itself.

The process of counselling, psychotherapy and coaching is integral to the results achieved. Talking to a listener who is committed to you, someone who is willing to sit with your pain or fear or confusion while you realise that you can experience this without disintegrating, is as important as developing effective strategies to manage the pain or fear or confusion.  Similarly, the process of continuing to explore an individual’s experience, from a position of not knowing what results they may eventually achieve, can help that person develop the ability to live with uncertainty. A premature search for solutions denies them this opportunity.

This process can only take place if there is a relationship of trust between practitioner and client, where the client feels free to reveal the less socially desirable aspects of themself without being judged. Again and again, clinical trials, NICE guidelines etc. emphasise how it is vital to have a secure therapeutic relationship before embarking on a particular therapeutic strategy. For a therapist or coach to be able to offer this type of relationship, they have to be willing to accept their own insecurities and less socially desirable aspects of their personality – which is why developing self-awareness is such an essential part of the training process.