Dorset Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists

posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Susy is leading a workshop on Friday 13th May 2011 7-9 pm in Wimborne Minster for DACAP, with the title:

“Is happiness possible? (And if so, is it an appropriate goal for therapy?)”

The workshop is free for members, and only £5 for non-members.
While aimed primarily at counsellors and psychotherapists, the workshop would also be accessible to anyone who works in a helping or support role.

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Attention and concentration

posted on March 30, 2011 at 12:01 pm

I was working with a client yesterday to explore his difficulties with concentration. He already recognised that he was very easily distracted, in many situations, both work and personal. The thought crossed my mind ‘If he were under 12, he would probably be described as having ADHD’. (And the diagnosis can also be applied to adults.) The response of many doctors would be to prescribe Ritalin. I prefer to explore psychological ways of understanding and improving specific aspects of concentration.

What is ‘concentration’?
The ability to focus attention on a chosen area for a period of time.

It involves paying attention, and processing information effectively. It is well established that we have a limited amount of attention – we cannot listen to two conversations simultaneously, and if we are having a conversation while driving, we’ll probably stop talking as we come up to a busy roundabout.

Other factors affect our attention: extroverts generally are less good at giving sustained attention to something than introverts; our attention is reduced when we are tired; people with high levels of anxiety are often ‘hyper-vigilant’ (they are constantly scanning their surroundings for anything threatening) so they have less attention available to focus on the task in hand. We also don’t pay much attention to things that don’t interest us.

Not paying attention can also become a habit – I know I switch off if my sons start talking about computer games consoles. And there are times when it is appropriate and healthy to let our attention wander: if our hands are occupied doing a well-practised task, the mind can wander away to enjoyable castles in the air. It is useful, though, to be able to control the volume on our attention, so that we can have it at full strength when necessary.

We can develop our skill in paying attention: mindfulness techniques are one approach; doing Sudoku or a crossword against the clock is another. I found myself laying out objects to play Kim’s game.  It is a simple way to assess how good your attention and short-term memory are – and also to develop both.

Concentration also involves being able to focus thought – to process information. Thought is not necessarily in words: a painter staring at her latest work in progress is probably assessing depth of colour, strength of brushstroke, how one colour or shape affects those next to it. We all tend to have preferred ways of processing information: I am predominantly visual – I can read and ‘tune out’ a TV programme going on at the same time. My husband, who is more of an auditory processor, finds this impossible. Some people – including many who are good at sport – are mainly kinaesthetic by choice:  they learn something by doing it (‘muscle memory’). So what?

Well, if what we want to concentrate on is a conversation, and we are a mainly visual processor, it is helpful to keep our eyes focused on the person who is speaking (or close your eyes if on the phone). For those who prefer the auditory channel, one useful technique to prevent your attention from being grabbed by anything else is to listen with the intention of being able to summarise what has just been said. For the kinaesthetic, having something to occupy your muscles – such as doodling – can help to free up the rest of your attention to listen to the conversation.

It’s worth experimenting with all of these, regardless of preferred method of processing, to see which work best for you. And remember – as with any skill, developing concentration requires practice.

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New Year resolutions and the pursuit of perfection

posted on January 7, 2011 at 7:17 pm

So it’s that time of year again, and when I went along for my first exercise class of the year today, the leisure centre was packed. I found myself wondering cynically how long this would last, before those whose attendance was due to a resolution found themselves faltering.

I’m not a supporter of New Year Resolutions (NYRs) – we all know that exercising, stopping smoking, maintaining a healthy weight, reducing alcohol intake etc. are good ideas – but most people’s experience of NYRs is of initial enthusiasm, that peters out until resolve is lost.

I suspect that there are a few inter-related reasons for this:

  • we set out on the activity from a position of “I’m not OK”. Underneath our upbeat confident mask is a fundamental belief that we’re not good enough – and that if people knew ‘the real me’ they’d reject us.
  • this underlying belief leads us to
    a) set ourselves unrealistic goals -”I’ll exercise every day” and
    b) believe that we have to do the activity perfectly and
    c) set ourselves too many different self-improvement areas to work on.
  • these unrealistic aspirations give us a very low tolerance of ‘failure’: eating a chocolate bar or not getting to the gym one day sets off our inner critic, and provides further evidence for our belief that we’re not OK.
  • once we’ve failed to meet our unrealistic target, we tend to feel guilty, look for something or someone to blame (often the perceived flaw in ourselves).
  • having found a reason for our failure, the temptation is to think ‘there’s no point in continuing’.
  • So what do I recommend instead of NYRs? This is my adaptation of SMART goals.

    1. Accept that you’re not perfect and you never will be.

    2. Think about why you want to lose weight/reduce your alcohol consumption etc. What do you want to be able to do that the NYR is a step towards?

    3. What inspires you about the underlying goal?

    4. Brainstorm ways of starting directly on that underlying goal.

    5. Look at what’s realistic in terms of the other commitments in your life, and the inevitable hiccups – snow, going down with a virus, car failing to start – that life will deliver.

    6. Choose a time for starting when predictable interruptions are low, and your resilience to stress and frustration are high.

    7. Expect unanticipated hiccups – and realise that they’re not a reason to stop.

    8. Choose a supporter/coach who will encourage you to keep going and remind you of the inspiration underlying your goal.

    9. Congratulate yourself on what you do achieve, rather than focusing on how far short of perfection this is.

    Good luck!

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    NaNoWriMo, perfectionism and procrastination

    posted on December 2, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    Between November 1st and 30th I took part in NaNoWriMo, the annual National Novel Writing Month, and completed the first draft of a 50,000 word novel in those 30 days. This was only the second time I’ve taken part, but it is a valuable reminder of what we can achieve when we let go of perfectionism and ‘just do it’.

    In the past, when I’ve embarked on writing fiction, I would get so far, and give up, overwhelmed by my inner critic. The critic subpersonality is satisfied with nothing less than perfection – which, is, of course, impossible. The critic has me read over what I’ve written so far, editing and tinkering with it, and putting off continuing the story. Perfectionism leads to procrastination. The critic is convinced that whatever I write next will not be perfect – so what’s the point of doing it. Or, in a more positive mood, research some minor aspect to be sure to get it right, write three sentences, then procrastinate by checking for internal consistency, wondering if this character is a caricature, debating whether to write in the first person or third person ….. and so on and so on.

    The joy of NaNoWriMo is that the critic HAS to be switched off, or you won’t have any chance of completing the fifty thousand words. I might procrastinate for ten minutes by looking at the online weather forecast, but the pull to complete today’s target of 1667 words drags me out of procrastination. Because the stated aim is to complete a first draft, it’s OK for it to be ‘not perfect’. Editing, and looking at what has been written as a critical reader, is a separate activity – the task is simply to complete 50 thousand words. There were days that I would be writing for an hour, convinced that what I had produced was complete rubbish – but the trick is to keep writing regardless, and eventually I would become inspired by one of my characters, or the landscape, and the fingers started dancing over the keyboard.

    I know, from running training courses, that it’s important in a brainstorming session not to start analysing and critiquing – creativity is interrupted by criticism. Anything that allows us to put the inner critic on hold will help our creativity to flow more freely.

    And the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment makes it more likely that I will continue writing.

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